Hassle in the Castle
Personally, I feel like we as a society do not have enough haunted castle islands off of our mainland. It is an American failing, perhaps not as bad as the lack of healthcare but definitely up there.
Thankfully, Scooby-Doo presents America as it should be so this episode begins with the gang crashing ashore a haunted isle immediately. Fred insists it was a beautiful day to begin with but I’m not buying it. These kids love their spooky weather. Shaggy was making a sandwich below deck at the time of impact. God, I wish that was me. Scooby agrees because he eats Shaggy’s sandwich just as the ship crashes ashore.
They’ve landed on the old Vasquez Castle situated on Haunted Isle. Fred decides to go ask for help. Fred, it’s called HAUNTED ISLE!!! WHO exactly is going to help you there? Scooby sees another small critter running away with a piece of evidence and gives chase. The crab bonks him on the snoot for his trouble. The piece of evidence is a map with a sign on the back that says “DANGER: Leave Haunted Isle.” This seems to rev Fred up. At some point someone needs to do an intervention here. Thank god a phantom is following them. Maybe he’ll let them use the phone.
Velma says the castle is probably loaded with traps. Daphne laughs her off and then immediately falls through a trap door. The phantom starts maniacally cackling. Velma dismisses it as the wind. Shaggy says it’s the first wind with a sense of humor.
Daphne lands in the cellar and narrowly avoids getting “grabbed” by the phantom. Not sure how this would work as he’s incorporeal.
Shaggy and Scooby get lost and ask a talking skull for directions. They’re horrified when he responds and run off. Look, you asked!
Shaggy wishes he had a ham sandwich to calm his nerves. One miraculously appears and Shaggy asks for some mustard which he also gets. Finally he asks his imagination to cut it in half. The castle responds by having a suit of armor chop the sandwich in half. Shaggy runs off but not before grabbing the sandwich. Again, don’t ask and then be shocked when you get what you want.
He runs straight into Daphne who clobbers him thinking he’s the phantom. Maybe that’ll knock some sense into him.
The phantom finally makes his official appearance to the gang and warns them to leave. Fred gives chase ordering the gang to grab the phantom. Again, it’s a phantom! The whole schtick is you can’t touch it and vice versa. Shaggy and Scooby discover this the hard way by diving right through him.
Velma insists there’s a logical explanation for all they’ve seen, the place is haunted! Thanks. Daphne finds a giant key that says Second Passage of the Old Bell. Velma thinks the key is pointing to a book. I couldn’t really follow her logic here but ok! Turns out she’s right and it just leads to a book with the line catacombs underlined. Velma says catacombs should be in the basement. Velma is master of the obvious this episode. Anyway, they use the key to unlock the catacombs. Really feel like this treasure hunt could have been tighter. Fred sends Scooby in to do some recon which seems irresponsible. He is just a dog. After some negotiation, Scooby agrees for 3 Scooby snacks which strikes me as a fair bargain.
He finds a magic hat and begins to fuck around with it. After some hijinks he gives them the all clear. There’s a lot of magic stuff scattered over the basement. Hmmm, wonder if that’s a clue.
The phantom reappears and says they’ll pay for not heeding his warning. Shaggy offers him 4 cents but is rudely turned down. The phantom sends the gang running into various tricks and traps. Shaggy is almost sawed in half but it turns out his top half is just a dummy. I’m impressed at how quickly the phantom made a Shaggy mannequin.
Fred and Daphne find a magic carpet and decide to use it to escape. I think it’d be faster to run and my theory is borne out when they immediately crash.
Fred once again decides to put Scooby in harm’s way to fight the phantom. Beginning to think Fred is not good with animals and maybe Scooby’s owner should step in and enforce some ground rules. Shaggy agrees with Fred and claims the phantom won’t chase Scooby because he’s a dog so Fred dresses him up in a trench coat and mustache. I understand this is a group of high teenagers but they must have smoked a little too much before this episode. A lot of the plans today are just throwing shit at the wall and seeing what sticks.
Fred favorably compares Scooby to John Wayne in an attempt to brave him up and it works. Scooby does a John Wayne impression that’s pretty solid and funny.
The phantom appears and Scooby has a high noon showdown with him. I don’t have a joke to make, this just rules and is one of the reasons this is the best show of all time. When it’s time to draw, Scooby just makes funny faces and runs away.
Scooby fucks up the trap again. Quelle surprise. This trap is particularly Rube Goldbergian. Fred should probably become an engineer with his sturdy grasp of cartoon physics. Scooby is hoisted up onto a chandelier while the phantom laughs. This is cut short when Scooby falls onto him.
The police show up and the phantom is unmasked as Bluestone the Great, an ex-magician bank robber??? If I was doing a new Scooby-Doo series (which I am very for hire for btw), I would bring back Bluestone. Feels like there’s a lot of unexplored territory here.
He came to the island to find the Vasquez Treasure. Velma unmasks all his tricks but they don’t get how he walked through walls. Bluestone is actually really excited to show them how he did it, with projectors and mirrors.
I think this is a really great example of what the newer Scooby-Doos get wrong. They try to do mini Agatha Christie novels with five suspects but that’s just impossible and exhausting to track in 21 minutes. You don’t need that! What makes it interesting is more the explanation of how the monster pulled off all the monster stunts.
Shaggy wonders aloud if there really is a treasure. Scooby digs excitedly for something but it’s just a chipmunk. I guess there is no treasure.
Overall Rating: 4/5 Scooby Snacks. Great episode overall with tons of solid gags, a nice setting. Undercut somewhat by my personal opinion that ghosts are lame and there are much better monsters in the series.
Scooby Snack Stock Market: Scooby does some recon work for 3 Scooby Snacks indicating that prices are going back up. Buy now before it’s too late.
Where does the gang live?: Look, I’m not a cartographer. I have no earthly clue. Were pirates a thing in New England? Because I’m still getting Maine vibes but the whole tale of Vasquez strikes me as something you’d see more in the Caribbean. Let’s just say Vasquez is the one great Maine pirate and leave it up there for now.
Next: Mine Your Own Business where the gang encounters the not so iconic Miner 49er. I’m not as familiar with this episode so I’m excited to revisit.